celticmyth

The recent disappointment with the new scales reading of my weight, I’ve decided to just get over it.  I can help the situation by sticking to my current diet of exercise and watching my intake.  It is sad the the new scale says 178lbs rather than the old scale saying I am below that.   I cannot fail at this!  I now love walking and I look forward to it.  Housecleaing is also a great way to exercise!  I am inspired by the new scale and look forward to my weightloss.  Thank you to all of you that support me.  I am very grateful for finding this site because it is a hard journey to do alone.  I also find strength supporting others.

My mother bought a new scale and I was hoping that mine was off (meaning a was under 173)  and the new scale said that I weight 177lbs and the old scale says I weight 170lbs.  I rather weigh as much as the old scale says. 

My mother and I are both on diets.  Well I am not really “Dieting” I am just eating better in smaller portions with exercise.  My mother, however, is on the New Mayo Clinic Diet with no exercise.  I have tried to convince her that she needs to exercise everyday or every other day.  She claims that she is too tired after work.  I can’t believe she says that, I use to work with her.  She sits at a FREAKING desk all day and drives over40 minutes to and from work.  How in the hell does that make her tired.  She doesn’t clean house, I live with her and I clean up after her.  She and I were just watching XXX-weightloss on DHC and she asked me if her chest was as big as the woman on the show.  This is what I said, “No, But you do have a large chest. She is a short woman so she looks bigger.”  She got really offeneded and totally took what I said out of context and she told me that I just called her huge.

What the freaking hell.     Then she started fussing at me and telling me that she hopes my daughter treats me like I treat her.  I am going to stop encouraging my mother to exercise and I am not going to cook her anymore meals for her special diet.  I am sorry but I don’t want to help someone when they think that they don’t need any help in the first place.   I don’t want her to fail at her diet but I think that she will if she doesn’t start exercising.

She has the same old excuse that I use to have ” I will start working out after I drop 30 lbs”     I told her that doesnt work because I have tried.

ME!  I went over to my boyfriend’s parents house and lost track of everything.  I am not going to blame it on his mother’s cooking because she understands my need to lose this extra weight.  She usually fries everything (my weakness)  but this time instead of frying the chicken she grilled it (YUM!).  I still exercised and tried to minimize my intake.  I still drank 64 oz of water each day.  Tuesday is when I really cheated,  :(  I ate a sausage patty biscut and for lunch/ dinner I had a 1/4 burger with a large combo at Wendy’s.  I am so sad.  Yesterday I had to make things right.    I ate well and today I feel much better.

I realized why I cheated,  1. It is that time of the month  2.  I lost all self control.

Yesterday I wrote a blog about how I only had 470 calories on tuesday (I know that is bad).  Wednesday I had over 800 calories and am on my way to building up to a better diet.

It is hard for me to realize that you can lose weight the right way.  Meaning, I need to consume more than a 1000.  I don’t want to read the lables but I have to in order to know what I am eating.  In my mind the more calories I eat, the more I will gain.  It is hard to process the calorie thing.  I don’t want to revert back to an old disorder.  I need to understand that I can eat, just not like a pig.

Its easy to say that I need to be on a balanced diet with exercise but it is hard to stick to it.  On that evil week in the month, I would see pizza and I would instantly crave it.  Also I have bad days with not being “that hungry”.  I can eat like a bird but it only hurts me in the end. As soon as I get out of the house and go places I want want want.  Starving myself is a horrible route to go on because that will slow my metabolism down and make me gain double the weight as soon as I start eating.  It is a twisted thing for me, to over eat on one day then bearly eat on the next.  It can’t be good for my heart.

I love food but I also like losing weight.  Which means I have a huge problem on my hands.  I weigh 175 lbs, on a bad day 180 lbs.  I can’t seem to go below 175 which sucks major booty.  Yesterday I consumed only 470 calories and exercised over an hour. 

I know that is really bad and will set me up for major problems.  In my teens I hit a high with a starting weight of 210 lbs and it took over 2 years to end at 145 lbs.  I have to admit the last 4 months I was practically starving myself and purging what I did eat.  I also exercised like crazy walking over 5 miles a day. 

Two years ago, I started to work as a waitress (really bad) and picked at the food every chance I got.  I also met a really great guy that I am still with.  I started visiting him and his family practically on a daily basis and his mother cooked great food every day that she had off.  I slowly began to pack the weight back on.

When I noticed an increase in my weight I flipped out and starting going back to my old routine.  Then I found out that my weight increase was not just from eating again but I was pregnant.

Eight months later and I’ve only lost 25 lbs and I have 33 lbs to go.  Although my Bmi says that I am 25.9 (about 6 lbs overweight)  I still would love to weigh 145 lbs again.